The Happiness Project 1.0

I mentioned in my last post that I have slowed down in my reading. When all was said and done at the end of January, I had 12 books down and was feeling like 100 books in 365 days wasn't going to be any kind of challenge at all. Welcome to February. Something you should know about me, I don't find meaning in numbers. Ok, maybe my bank account but besides that not so much. I say things like "I slept for a million hours last night" and "I got a bazillion flowers for my birthday" or "I drank like 100 glasses of water today" or "I did that like ten times faster." Not being accurate with numbers and especially making numbers up is something I do regularly.

The number 100 is an ambiguous one to me. I know it is real and that it comes after 99 and just before 101, I promise I'm not stupid. 100 is just a number that I commonly throw around. It isn't real to me. I can say "I'm going to do 100 laps" and I probably wouldn't think about actually doing 100 laps. The number 85 on the other hand is real. It became even more real on a birthday card from my brother and sister-in-law. At the bottom on the card it says, "Here's to you and the next 85 books!!" When I read that all I could think was Holycow! I didn't bat an eyelash about reading 100 books, but 85? I'm not so sure. Not to mention the fact that I was seriously slowing down with all the distractions I'd been allowing myself to enjoy. So this past three week I've been feeling a little weighed down by resolutions (mostly my bookcase).

My book shelf.

Two books deep in some places.

Note to readers: There are not 82 book here that I haven't read.

I need recommendations!

Update Book ?: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

Why the question mark?? Well it is unfinished. I haven't finished it, but have read books in between. This is something I never do. Reading multiple books at one time is uncharted territory for me. But, I have good reason. I truthfully wish this had been the first book of my challenge. "The Happiness Project," is basically a more structured version of my challenge. She has created 12 resolutions, one for each month. Each month she adds a new resolution and by December she plans to have all of them be in practice.

Inspired I am. Reading quickly, I am not.

One of the hardest parts of this challenge has been picking up book after book with no rest period. Sometimes I finish a book that I have enjoyed so much, a book that sincerely affects me in one of those "I can't stop thinking about it" sort of ways, that the idea of picking up another story to read is unfathomable. With a deadline like the one I have set for myself there isn't much room for rest periods. Enter "The Happiness Project." It is going to be my in-between book. Something that makes me think about other resolution I can make to be happier and healthier.

So far, the first part of the book has been the most enjoyable. She sets up 12 happiness commandments as well as a list of "secrets of adulthood." So guess what I did? I made my own list of Secrets of Happiness Commandments. Stealing several from her two lists I have 19 in all (9 and 19 are my favorite numbers and 9 just wasn't enough). So here goes:

Elisa's Secrets of Happiness Commandments

1. Be Elisa.

2. Act the way I want to feel.

3. Be humble. Be Proud (where appropriate).

4. Enjoy the process.

5. Let it go, there is only love.

6. Identify the problem.

7. Outer order contributes to inner calm.

8. It doesn't have to make sense.

9. It's ok to ask for help.

10. People don't notice my mistakes and flaws as much as I think.

11. The days are long but the years are short.

12. You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you like to do. And It's ok if what you don't like to do is something other people like to do.

13. If you aren't failing, you're not trying hard enough.

14. You don't have to be good at EVERYTHING and you don't have to please EVERYONE.

15. Check off things from your ToDo List

16. Remember what is REALLY important.

17. Don't expect others to act/react/feel/like the same way/things you do.

18. Eat healthy, sleep more, get moving

19. Don't second guess yourself.

So there you have it. This entire time I've been making up resolutions, I've really been creating a Happiness Project.

The Alchemist.

I believe one hundred percent that you have to be in the right place and time (also frame of mind) to enjoy a book. This might not make complete sense, so here is an example, "The Alchemist." I read this book the winter after I graduated from college. I wouldn't say that I was necessarily feeling lost at the time, but I didn't have a map and I had never learned how to use a compass. So when I say that this book changed the way I looked at my life I don't mean to sound pretentious. I'm not going to give details about why I loved this book so much, I'll just say that it came to me at the right time in my life.

People come to coffee shops to sit and read, be amid a blur of people while traveling to a different world through the pages of a book. When I see these people it makes me really wish I didn't work in a coffee shop so that I too could get the same pleasure from sitting in a cafe enjoying a book. When a customer comes in holding a novel I almost always ask them what they are reading, or at least attempt to read the title or authors name. So about three weeks ago when two women came in and one was holding "The Alchemist," it wasn't out of the ordinary for me to strike up a conversation about the novel. It went a little something like this:

Me: Oh, I loved that novel. It is one of my favorites.

Them (after sharing a knowing look): Oh, Really?

Me: Yeah (pause) you didn't like it very much?

Them: Lady 1- Well not really, actually I almost couldn't stand to finish it. Lady 2- It was in my Goodwill pile until she asked to borrow it for a book club.

Me: oh really? That's too bad I really liked it.

Them: Well if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? (I answer 23) Yeah, that is what we were just talking about. Younger people probably really like it. But I have already learned all of those lessons.

I assure you that this was all said in a rather condescending way. Even though this was a few weeks ago, this conversation still bugs me for a couple of reasons. One,I'm the type of person who wants everyone to love the things I do. Two, I would hate to be in a book club filled with people who believed that they had already learned all the lessons life had to teach (The book is about life lessons and following your personal legend). But, in the end I decided that a little bit of what they felt was true, maybe they just needed to have read the book at a different time in their lives. So yes, I have started books gotten a few pages in and quit but I still keep those books on my shelf, waiting for when I'm ready for to appreciate them.

This brings me to my next next point, you may have noticed a sever lack of postings this past week or so. I haven't stopped reading, but I have slowed down......a lot! A few of my excuses include: Lots of theatre stuff, working at 6am everyday means I can't stay up 'til 3 am reading, the sun was shining and begging me to be active, and finally--the olympics are on! But I do have two updates!

Update Book 16 &17: Belong to Me by Marisa De Los Santos and Racing Hearts by Various Authors

Book 16

There is nothing I hate worse than the phrase "End of Book One," except when a book has a sequel but the author thinks it can stand on its own so nobody calls it a sequel. This is annoying because you could pick up the second book and never know there was a first. Luckily, the first book was book 4 of my challenge. I really enjoyed "Loved Walked In" so maybe that was why "Belong to Me" wasn't quite as magical to me. I like the style of writing Santos uses and enjoyed the book very much, but there are a few things that bother me. I felt that there were too many narrators and everything wraps up a little too nicely in the end. Maybe these can be seen as good things as well. You're never left wondering how someone feels and every once in a while it is nice to feel things worked out perfectly---because most books and real life are hardly ever like that.

Book 17

If you will remember back to my original set of resolutions they included travel more and be more fearless (which I decided means something along the lines of get out of your comfort zone and do things you wouldn't normally do). So in April I'm traveling to Arizona for a NASCAR race. My eldest brother is the fan, but my parents and I are giving it a try. So the first thing I did was pick a driver and research what you wear to a race. Then, while walking through B&N with my friend Ashley I picked up "Racing Hearts" as sort of a joke. Basically it is a bad romance novel comprised of three short stories based around NASCAR. Pretty hilarious really. I did learn something though--- Forty percent of NASCAR fans are women. Also, there is an entire series of NASCAR romance novels. I think for now, "Racing Hearts" will be the only one I pick up.

Daily Thought

Every Monday through Friday I wake up to a Daily Thought in my email inbox. Sometimes they are clever and cute, but sometimes they are just plain inspirational. I love words. I love how you can use words that on their own seem plain, but strung together with other plain words creates something close to rapture. I think the same can be said about people. We all need other people in our lives to lean on and lift us up to be more than we are on our own.

Within the last week or so, I've been doing some soul searching, figuring out what things in my life I like and what things I want to change. Hence the waking up and repeating to myself "Today is my day, it is going to be good no matter what. I am a brilliant beautiful person." Also, I'm trying to given up swearing. I thought about giving it up for lent, but I feel like this should be more of a life long resolution and it is going to be a hard one. I swear unconsciously and often. I don't like this about myself so it has gone into the change column.

Something else that joins swearing in the 'bad Elisa' column is disorganization. I don't know what happened. In school my planner used to be color coded and scheduled down to the minute. But lately I have slipped. My to-do list that I have kept in my head has reached critical mass. If I don't have a visual reminder to do something, I tend to put something off until the last minute (if I haven't forgotten it completely). So I started a google calendar for both my personal life and my marketing director life. How come no one ever told me how wonderful google calendars are?!!! Talk about life changing. Not only can I share all my due dates with my entire committee, but I can upload their production calendar and see everything that is going on. They send reminders to my phone and email, they even stop what I'm typing to put a reminder up on my screen. So as long as I continue to remember to input my to-do lists this will help my organizational and be on time resolutions!!

But back to the daily quotes I have been receiving. I just want to share a few of my favorites:

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment

is the only one you know you have for sure.”

-Oprah Winfrey

“Love is always bestowed as a gift―freely, willingly, and

without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.”

-Leo F. Buscaglia

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around once in a while you could

miss it.”

-Matthew Broderick as Ferris Buller, "Ferris Buller’s Day Off"

“You’ve got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the

morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another

choice.”

-Steven D. Woodhull

And nope! I don't have a book to report....

Love. Love. Love.

Nope, I'm not talking about Valentine's Day. I'm talking about February 11th. My birthday day. Ok you can laugh and judge all you want, but it is my favorite day of the year. You might think that it is because of the presents, but that is not true (although I don't mind them ;-) ). I love this day because I get to spend it with people that I love. Valentine's Day is for lovers. Birthdays are a day to show all sorts of love; motherly, sisterly, friendly, brotherly, etc. Hallmark can make up all the fake holidays they want, but nothing compares to the love people show you on your birthday.

I've been known to in the past, to make a big deal about my birthday, but this year I wasn't planning anything fancy. Just a relaxing day with some of my favorite people. And you know what? It was one of the best birthdays I have ever had! This is mostly because my favorite people just so happen to be the best people in the whole entire world. No exaggeration. I received phone calls and cards from people I was sure wouldn't remember, both of my brothers called even though I was going to see one of them later that day at dinner. Basically what I'm trying to say is that the people in my life are truly wonderful and I am one lucky girl to know them.

Another word about birthdays: They are always magical. Seriously, when I wake up on my birthday I know it is going to be a fantastic day. Once again it is the little things, finding an amazing parking spot or having the server giving me an ice cream sundae after breakfast (even though I really couldn't have eaten more than a bite). Part of this is waking up and having a positive attitude about your day. On your birthday you wake up and think, this is my day. So what happens the other 364 days of the year? If you dread going to work or that phone call you have to make, guess what?! You will have a bad day. But if you wake up thinking this is going to be a good day, you will most likely fulfill that prophecy.

So another resolution! Wake up and put a smile on my face and tell myself I'm going to have an extraordinary day. No matter what!

Update Book 15: Flyboys by James Bradley

I thought that I was really getting out of my box by reading some of the books that have been recommended to me so far this year. That was until a friend brought over three books he wanted me to read. All three are books that I would never pick out on my own, they are basically boy books. But part of the fun of making a resolution is the challenge. So I guess you could say I had an absolute blast with this novel. It was the most difficult book I've attempted thus far. Not because of big words, but because of the content. I was not given any caveat before I started reading. This is a book about war, and at times it was intensely graphic. So graphic in fact, that I almost admitted defeat and put the book down. But I didn't, and I feel like a better person for finishing it. Although"Flyboys" is at times very difficult to read, it is also incredibly informational and very captivating.

"Flyboys" is about American Airmen during Word War II in the Pacific. I had not put much thought into that half of the Great War. But this book opened my eyes. The history is fascinating and the book is incredibly well researched. The author's other novel is "Flags of our Fathers," also about this part of the war. So if you are interested American history and a worth while challenge, pick up "Flyboys."

Those Who Save Us.

One of my favorite things about traveling is learning the history of the places I've visited. I don't think you can truly appreciate the sites you've seen without learning about the people who came before you. You can admire the art work in the Uffizi Gallery or snap a few photos of the stones that comprise Stonehenge, but until you've learned their history you can never really appreciate them.

Two summers ago I took a trip with my family to Europe and spent some time in Germany. While we were there we went on a tour through the city of Nuremburg. You cannot go anywhere in Europe without learning how drastically World War II changed the continent. In some of the towns in Germany you will hear very little spoken about the war, but our tour through Nuremburg was all about Nazi Germany. Even decades later walking through the tribune of the Zeppelinfeld stadium, where Hitler addressed the Nazi party, chills went down my back.

Nuremberg, Germany

Although the city looks ancient, on January 2, 1945 ninety percent of the medieval city center was destroyed by allied bombers.

Update Book 14: Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum

This is the second book this year that has been about women during WWII. I have enjoyed both of these historical fiction novels. "Those Who Save Us" is told from the perspective of an Aryan German woman in 1939, and from the perspective of her daughter in 1997. This book was different because it showed all sides of the war. You don't often hear about how difficult things were for German Civilians. What made this book so interesting is that it showed the German side of the story without diminishing the atrocities that were committed against the Jews. This is a book about the terrible things that are done during war, the lives that are changed, and the guilt it causes that never goes away. I found that I could not put this book down. It was very compelling, but also much darker at times than "My Enemy's Cradle."

This quote from the book gives you a good idea of how the author handles the difficult subject matter:

"Most of us are drawn to this time period thinking it was a war of absolute good versus absolute evil---qualities rarely found in their purest form---and that's true. But don't forget that history isn't just a study in black and white. Human behavior is comprised of ulterior motives, of gray shades."

I also want to mention something about how this book was written. There are no quotation marks. None at all. There is plenty of dialogue, but no quotation marks around it. This means that you have to read everything very carefully. Even though at times I found it sort of annoying, if I were ever to write a book this is how I would do it. You can't just skim a page to read the interesting conversations, you have to read every word.

One month recap

So here is a recap with updates of all the random things I have resolved to do so far this year. Starting with my first four:

Be more fearless: So far I'm not sure I have really lived up to this resolution. I have had a couple of small fearless moments, but for the most part I'm only willing to be mildly fearless at this point. I knew I couldn't change with this resolution over night.

Travel More: Two trips planned for the year. Arizona in April. Europe in August (not the original cruise I spoke about earlier). I'm hoping to also plan some smaller weekend trips once spring is here.

Read 100 books: 13 books read. This week I've been plagued with headaches. I'm not sure if they are from excessive reading, excessive coffee, or lack of sleep. Possibly a mixture of all. So I've only read one book this week. Luckily I have built up a little bit of a cushion.

Drink more H2O: I haven't bought soda in over a month! The only time I drink it is if I'm at work, my parents, or restaurant. I'm trying to keep it to only one a day.

Take shorter Showers: Still timing them, but there have been a couple of days where I forgot on purpose. :)

Be on time: This one I haven't really had too many opportunities to test out. I live in a very central location so it has become common for people to meet me at my house. When I am going to meet someone though, I have made it a point to either be early or on time. (One instance I went into a restaurant and waited in the bar for probably ten minutes. I was so glad that I was the one that had been on time. It felt wonderful.)

Update Book 13: Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah

This book was everything I had hoped book number 7 of the year "Best Friends Forever" would have been, but wasn't. "Firefly Lane" is a book about two friends who grow up together, the struggles they face and how through everything it is their friendship that defines their lives. This book was recommended to me by two friends from college. We tend to enjoy similar books, so I was fairly certain this would be a winner.

This book takes place in Snohomish, Seattle, and Bainbridge Island, Washington. The Northwest references made this book all the more fun. The author is local, and just so happened to have released her newest novel at the book store two shops down from my coffee shop on Tuesday.

I enjoyed that this book was more than just a novel about two friends. "Firefly Lane" is about relationships with your mother, father, husband, and daughter. The best part about this book is that the relationships don't seem contrived. Often in Chic Lit novels the relationships seem forced with conflicts that would never happen in real life. Not so in "Firefly Lane." This is a great book to read on rainy Seattle Sunday.

*Disclaimer* I cried at the end.

Also, a note about "Dear John." If you will remember back to book 5, I didn't really like the book, but I had to read it before I saw it on the big screen. Well I hated the movie. Everything about the book that was tragic made it a somewhat interesting read. What they did with the movie is jumble everything up, make it even more confusing, then try and make a tragic love story into a happy one. There are some movies made from novels where I can honestly say that I had enjoyed both of them for separate reason. That together they actually completed each other, that didn't happen in this instance. I recommend skipping "Dear John" all together, the book and the movie.

If you are looking for a book to read and you also want to watch the movie, I would recommend "The Painted Veil." I loved both separately.